You have heard that as a person you need to find your purpose. You need to find the reason for your existence; the “why?” you are here; the part you have been called to play to make the world a better place. And as obedient and dedicated as you are, you have found it. You know you have been called to be an evangelist. You know that you also have great interest of being a marriage counsellor, and seeing the world become a better place through your eyes and hands. That is great.

However, you are in a place where your emotions are racing; you are in love. And you seem to fall into a norm; an ill norm. You noticed that in the midst of this sweet emotion of falling in love, you seem to be putting your purpose on hold. You seem to suddenly find your purpose too weighty to ‘carry along’. All of a sudden, you have lost interest in your ‘productive’ purpose. You aren’t giving it the momentum you used to give it. It is laying down unattended to and waxing cold. Is this good? You ask yourself. Then, like a dream, you find out that ‘the relationship’, as good as it is isn’t filling you up. You seem to be lacking something vital. You can’t get your hands on it. The man is good, and all that, but something is missing. It is not from him, but from you. You seem not to be complete, or you are ‘leaking’. What is it? Well, I came to tell you that it is your PURPOSE which is leaking away from your hands. Don’t blame yourself. I have been where you are before, and I understand how you feel and exactly what you are going through. I am here to help.

“How do we maintain our purpose in the midst of emotions?”

Let me ask you a question. Should you be the CEO of a company in search of an employee, and someone applies, but in the course of interviewing the person, the person tells you he/she has no certificate for the job, but that he loves the job, and would want to be a part of the company. He is ready for whatever you’ve got for him. But he ‘has nothing really to give (no certificate of accomplishment)’. Would you employ such a person? How about someone who has worked as a student, and has certificates to show for it, and even other work experiences from other places. Would you employ this person? As a person, your ‘certificate’ in life is your purpose. It is what has been given to you because of what is inside you. Like the company job, you need to come into a relationship with your purpose (certificate). The company may have diverse space for you, but it is your certificate which will even guide you as to which space to accept or decline. As a mechanical engineer, you wouldn’t go and occupy the space of an administrative assistant. Would you? Not that the administrative assistant job isn’t good, but it isn’t in line with your certificate (and knowledge gained). Right?

Your purpose is who you are. And it would be wrong for you to leave your purpose behind, and chase after the unknown in a relationship. Should you do that, you would become dependent on that person. And when you are not getting filled up, you may become depressed. Your purpose is who you are; it is what fulfills you, it is what gives you an identity, it is what gives you a footprint in the sand of the earth, it is what defines you, it is your contribution to making the world better. So why would you abandon such a great thing for a relationship? Like the CEO, your partner needs your purpose too. He needs you to live in your purpose while you live with him. He has lived with himself for years, and now he is ready for a change, he is ready for something better, and he’s found you. He thinks you are his better half. He thinks you are the light of his world. Why would you leave your light behind to go and share his world? If he needed his (dark) world shared, he would have called his friends. He needs something different; he needs YOU, and you are your PURPOSE.

A man doesn’t come into your life as a constructor, coming to establish your life for you. No! He is a partner, coming to share your life with you. What have you got? Nothing? Then you aren’t ready for a partner. Nobody needs a partner to share nothing with. Right? If you’ve got NOthing, then you need NObody.

Sweedy, I know you love him. I know he brings butterflies into your stomach. But which butterflies are you sending into his? He has got something, and he is sharing it with you, that is why you are getting butterflies. What have you got, that you are sharing with him? Your pu**y? That is cheap. He can ‘buy’ it anywhere. Don’t think because it is coming from you, it is any expensive. No! If you are giving him something which he can get anywhere, then it is cheap. It is NOT a designer product. The ONLY ‘designer product’ you have got is YOUR PURPOSE. It was given to only you, and only you can make it happen the way it should happen.

I know you love him. I know it feels like he makes your life so full that you don’t need your purpose. But baby, that is wrong. That is your emotions speaking. And you and I know that emotions don’t last. What lasts is Truth. You need to have your purpose with you all the time. Your purpose is like your heart. Do you walk to some places without your heart? Then you would be dead. Don’t kill your purpose for a man. Carry it along: It is your oxygen. When everything is even lost, you would still have your purpose with you.

Your purpose is that thing which gives you FULFILLMENT when you do it.

            It is that thing which makes you feel like you are making a contribution to the world.

                        It is that thing which keeps you happy even in the midst of life’s storms.

                                    They are those interests which keeps you alive.

                                                It is that thing which you do best EFFORTLESSLY.

                                                            It is that thing which you are known for.

                                                                        It is that thing which brings your name to people’s minds when it is mentioned.

THEY ARE THE GIFTS GOD HAS GIVEN YOU FOR YOU TO PLAY A ROLE ON EARTH

Don’t neglect them. Don’t forsake them. Don’t abandon them. Because God will ask you about them. Remember, marriage is not our ‘certificate’ to heaven. Our salvation is, and our works (purpose) is.

Furthermore, I want to bring your mind to another thing: Like the job scenario above, after the applicant has presented his certificates, and have been employed, do you think it is wise for him to start lording his job over his boss? Do you think his boss should now ‘lick his feet’, and do everything the employee says? No! Not at all. Once he has been employed, he becomes a PARTNER; he shares in the goals of the company. He plays his part to make the company better, as he is being rewarded with a good salary, good working conditions, allowances, and friends on the job. In the same way, once you have lived with your purpose, and are coming into a relationship, you needn’t lord your ‘purpose’ over your boss (husband), even if he hasn’t realized his yet. You saw how he was before marriage, and you accepted him to be your husband. So, you must accept him whether he improves or stays where he is. Apparently, accepting him with love, and respect will boost his desire to improve and become better FOR YOU. But if you should lord your purpose, or standards over him, he will fight you to bring you down.

Men have been made heads for a reason. God, who created them knows every detail of the fiber of their being, and realized that they can, and should be the heads of families or their wives. So as a wife, you ‘rule’ by submitting. Like the job scenario, the employee makes his ‘good’ opinion about something known to the boss in the form of suggestions. He doesn’t ‘command/instruct’ the boss to do something, no matter how much he thinks (with evidence) that his opinion is good. If he commands or instructs the boss, no matter how obviously good his suggestion is, to protect his ego, the boss will fight that command. He will try to prove to the employee that he is the boss. He wouldn’t go through with the employee’s opinion.

But should the employee, (with all evidence) know that his opinion is the best, yet presents it to his boss as a suggestion, as telling him, “You are free to choose whatever you think is right. You are not under any compulsion to do what I have suggested.” His boss will ‘see clearly’, feel right (his position as a boss is not being threatened, and he is still respected and known as the boss), to ‘obey’ what the employee has suggested. Because he knows and feels right that if what the employee has suggested is done, the praise wouldn’t go to the employee, but to him, because he is the boss. This is no competition. It is just a retention of power (security).

So my virtuous lady, don’t lord your accomplishments, purpose, desires, and goals over your husband. Don’t make him feel stupid or less. Even if you are obviously higher than him in social standards, bow down to the standards of God, and make your head (husband) feel like the King that he is, and he would make you his queen; not just as your contact name on his phone, but as your identity in his heart.

Finally, my brethren, find your purpose, don’t abandon it even if you are in a good relationship, and make sure you don’t lord your purpose over your boss (husband) even if he hasn’t got any… yet.

#walking with your purpose in a relationship gives you a unique identity in the relationship. You become all of you, and not a character from a relationship book. You are able to breathe, and live. Not depend or cling. You live healthy, in a relationship. And your man will see you for who you are, and love you even more.

THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU. MAY HE CAUSE HIS FACE TO SHINE UPON YOU, AND BE GRACIOUS UNTO YOU. AMEN.