When you suddenly begin to feel or have a lingering feeling of pain in your gut or in your heart about a break up you had, or a painful experience you have had, sweedy, don’t go and play melancholic songs, or love songs to soothe you.

I know you may have been doing this in the past. Like a drug, it makes you feel happy for the moment, but in other to maintain this ‘happy feeling’, you need to be in the cycle of taking this ‘drug’ (route) over and over again.

No! Not anymore. We don’t have time to throw a pity party for ourselves, and we are too busy to sit in for the party. Here is a different, better, easier, and a faster approach to overcome that numbing feeling of heart break, or that pain a flashback from your past brought.

When you experience emotional pain, and you don’t like it, or ‘don’t have time for it’, and wants to get out of its loop, all that you need is dopamine to get well. I am not saying go and take a drug in other to get dopamine. No! We are going to get this dopamine naturally.

If dopamine is a ‘happy hormone’, and now because of a flashback or an encounter we are feeling sad in the moment, it isn’t rocket science to know that the happy hormone is your solution.

Now, you may ask, “How do we get this happy hormone NATURALLY?” I will gladly tell you.

You get a dopamine boost when you accomplish something, especially something you really love or something which means a lot to you.

For example, I recently had a flashback about my ‘ex’. I suddenly had this feeling to call him, and relive our happy moments, even though he did me wrong and that was the reason why we parted ways. I had the urge to call him. But I had found out that he had blocked me.

In my mind, I said, “If blocking me was his way of dealing with the fall-out, then I am cool with it. Besides, everybody grieves differently, and we all have a right to our individual differences.” I didn’t block him, but I rather deleted his number.

Now, fast forward, I am having these feelings/desire to call him so that I could relive ONLY our happy moments, but clearly there was no way to reach him. I was feeling so lonely all of a sudden that I wanted to have video call with any available person from my contact. But I later felt that will be very intrusive of me.

Meanwhile, my room was a mess at the time as I had been super busy for weeks. I wanted to clean my room, and even rearrange things to give it a new look. I was feeling really tired already, but the following day was going to be Monday, and I would have to go to work.

This heartbreak feelings was wrecking me too at the same time. I wanted to forget everything and go to bed, perhaps, my sleep will erase all the pain I was feeling, but, my room was so much in a mess that I wanted to really clean up.
So what did I do?

I decided to SIT WITH THE uncomfortable FEELING, while I tidy up my room. Yes! I did. It felt torturous, but I was determined to see what lies at the other end of having this ‘foul’ feeling.

I downloaded a book in my area of interest and passion. I connected my phone to my Bluetooth speaker, and with my test-to-speech app, began to listen to the book as I tidied up my room.

I wasn’t so particular about grasping everything in the book. I just wanted to have something I love around me. Everything was going well. The foul feelings were losing their hold on me slowly. When I reached page 51 of the book, I didn’t need the book anymore, as I had gotten enough strength to fight the remaining foul feeling that was left.

I stopped the book reading and NOW focused on the look I wanted to give my room. I was getting physically tired but I wanted to see the finished look. I cleaned, swept, dusted, washed, rearranged, and when I was done, I was so proud of what I had accomplished: My small room had a new look, and it was ‘exotic’ in my eyes. I loved it. I was happy, and proud of myself.

After I was done, the loud noises of the foul feelings had turn into whispers. I knew they were around, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. And because I couldn’t hear what they were saying, they couldn’t control me.

After I had done all these, I gave the foul feelings my final punch; I slept. Yes! I slept soundly, and I actually enjoyed the sleep.

When morning came and I woke up, I was in a different light, and the darkness of yesterday couldn’t hold me anymore. I am feeling myself today. I feel good, happy and purposeful.

Finally, my ladies, I know the pain hurts, I know your heart is breaking into pieces and your two hands can’t even hold it all, I know you just can’t understand how someone could do evil so easily, and you just don’t understand how someone could lie to your face, and still be smiling. You don’t even understand how someone could have no remorse.

Baby, I feel you. But you know what, time is so strict that no matter what happens to us in this life, it keeps moving.
I mean, whether we are happy or sad, time keeps moving. Whether we are dead or alive, the clock is still ticking. And if we also want to do what the clock is doing, we also have to keep ‘ticking’ whether the rains fall, or the sun shines, or the tornadoes come.

What are we going to do? We are going to seek dopamine. Have plenty NATURAL sources of dopamine, like your passions, interests, a result-oriented task, or something fun. Don’t sit with your pain, because that doesn’t take it away. It rather gives it voice.

Don’t fight the foul feeling, else you would be giving it more attention than it deserves. Just get into the secret place of your dopamine sources, cleaning up your room, dusting all your books, learning that typing course, playing the piano, playing football, learning how to throw the basketball into the net, riding horses, etc, and focus on doing it to its accomplishment.

Don’t leave it half way. You are only allowed to rest or leave it half way if you did accomplish something with the other half.

“Will these activities take the pain away?” You may ask. Not exactly. Rather, it will give you something more: It will take the power from the hands of the foul feelings and give it back to you. You would be able to control your feelings and eject any one which you don’t want.

Now I am feeling good, and feeling fine. Thank God for wisdom. Amen.