Matthew 5:43-45 _ “You have heard that it was said, ‘love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 5:46-48 _ “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors (sinners) doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans (unbelievers) do that? Be perfect, therefore as your Heavenly Father is perfect.”

Ephesians 5:21 _ “Submit to one another out of reverence FOR CHRIST.”

Matthew 18:1-4 _ “At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, ‘Who, then is the GREATEST in the kingdom of heaven? He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. And he said: TRULY I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will NEVER enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the GREATEST in the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 18:21-22 AMP _ “Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how many times may my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go? [As many as] up to seven times? Jesus answered him, ‘I tell you, not up to seven times, BUT seventy times seven!”

Matthew 6:15 _ “But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

1 Corinthians 7:10-11 AMP _ “But to the married people I give charge – NOT I BUT THE LORD – that the wife is NOT to separate from her husband. But if she does [separate from and divorce him], LET HER REMAIN SINGLE or else be reconciled to her husband. And [I charge] the husband [also] that he should NOT put away or divorce his wife.”

Some people say that sex is a reflection or a summary of the health of your marriage. Thus, good sex means communication and intimacy in the marriage is healthy. Bad sex implies otherwise.

Is this true? I am yet to find out. However, today, the Lord revealed this to me, angry sex.

You know, as much as we may desire to have an amorous marriage, things happens, and humans offend each other, especially when they share the same space.

Look at the workplace for example, there is workplace conflicts all the time, whether petty or gross, but we go to work every day for the cash. If things get worst, we quit the current workplace for a ‘better’ place.

We are not talking about the business workplace today. We want to talk about our marriages, the most ultimate and important workplace we will ever have in our lifetime. Let’s look at the department of sex. This department is a very important one. It is the department which determines our wellbeing and emotional state in life.

As likely to quarrel human beings live together, sex can be a challenge. It can feel like a tide whereby when we are feeling happy, sex (tides) is hot, and steamy, but when we’re feeling down, hurt or unhappy, ‘obviously’ sex (tides) is gloomy, or not happening at all.

Let me ask, “Was this so from the beginning? Is this what God designed?”

Romans 8:6-8 _ “The mind governed by the flesh (carnal feelings, etc) is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit (the Word of God) is LIFE and PEACE. [Do you want peace? Do you want to live a fulfilled life?] The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.”

In times when our husbands make us feel happy, they feel like a good neighbor. As such, giving them sex feels like a well-deserving reward. We give it freely and happily. But in moments when our husbands act like the devil’s cousin, we lock the door to their heavenly-cooked meals between our legs, and throw the keys into the sea; They should apologize, make us happy, and ‘go find the keys’. What a great judge we are; we have condemned them even before God passed any judgment on them.

Look here my Christian wife, and husband too, whether your spouse has become, or acts as your good neighbor or even as your enemy, you are to obey God’s word. Because you are a Christian, and a child of God. As a child of God, you don’t and shouldn’t willingly disobey your Father.

You are to obey God’s word in spite of your feelings; live by faith (obedience to God’s Word), NOT by sight (what you can carnally justify).

And what does the Word of God tell you to do to your neigbours and enemies? He says you are to LOVE THEM. Love your neigbour as yourself, and Love your enemies. Thus, however you will treat your good neighbor, is the same way you are to treat an enemy.

This doesn’t come easily or automatically, because feelings for a neighbor is not the same as feelings towards an enemy. This is what I do, I ask myself, “If this person was a friend, what will I have done differently?” When I find the answer that is what I give to the enemy. Thus, I am trying my best to obey God [the giver of my life].

Don’t follow your feelings, and disobey God. It is very dangerous. Don’t deplete the protection of God over your life through disobedience.

The Word of God charges us to love everybody whether they are a neighbor or an enemy. Read more from the following scriptures, Matthew 5:46-48, Matthew 18:21-22 AMP, Matthew 6:15.

We are not perfect yet, so we have no right to hold anybody down with unforgiveness.

Bringing this revelation home, it tells us that whether our spouses make us happy or sad, we should love them. And if we will give good sex to them when we are happy with them (as our neighbor), we should equally give good sex to them when we are NOT happy with them (as our enemy).

Let God be the one to ‘punish’ him, NOT you.

However, I understand that there may be moments when you cannot forgive him and feel happy right away no matter how much you try and wants to. Because the shock, hurt and pain from what they did or said to you is beyond this world. I understand.

In moments like that, there is an alternative. This alternative is not a disobedience to God though. This is the alternative: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” [Proverbs 15:1]

Gently tell hubby this: “I would have loved to make love with you, but my emotions are not happy right now.” This gentle answer is like to cause him to ask you, “Why are you not happy or what is making you unhappy?” Should this caring and gentle question come from hubby, pleas and please, be careful with your response. Your response will determine the fate of the outcome; whether to turn away wrath and bring peace, or stir up anger and bring death.

Read the conversation below:

[Hubby gives wifey sexually inviting gestures]

[Virtuous wife tells hubby her current emotional state in a very gentle way]

Wifey: Babe, I would have loved to make love with you, but my emotions are not happy right now.

Hubby: Your emotions? Why? What’s wrong?

Wifey: [Virtuous wife makes her request/grievances known GENTLY] Babe, I appreciate how you work hard for this family, in other to adequately provide for us. I appreciate that. Thank you. However, babe I also work a lot, but it seems because what I do doesn’t bring in money, my work and worth is despised. It seems my input, and thus my request for help is often neglected. For example is the trash bin. When it is full, it gets heavy. And after I have worked hard around the house, I need you. Seeing you empty the trash would have shown me how much you support and love me. But it seems doing that for me is too much to ask for. This makes me feel unloved, and it is making me feel unhappy right now, that is why I am not able to open up myself to give you love.

Hubby: Owww really?… I am so sorry babe.

Wifey: Would you like me to tell you what you can do to help make me happy?

Hubby: Sure.

Wifey: Whenever you empty the trash, it tells me you care about me and love me. Whenever you try to put your worn clothes in the laundry basket instead of the floor, it makes me feel that I am your partner and lovely wife, not a slave or hired servant. It’s those little things babe. Those little things speak a lot to me. It shows me whether you care about me or not. Whenever you do those little things, it makes my heart happy, and will obviously make my pussy wet for you [smiles through tears]

Hubby: I am so sorry babe.

Wifey: Do you promise to do better babe?

Hubby: Whenever you remind me, I will.

Wifey: Remind you?

Hubby: I mean, it is going to be a learned behavior, so I will need your help like a baby learning how to walk for the first time would.

Wifey: Oww…Okay. I get it now. I am happy to help.

Hubby: Right.

Wifey: [Wipes tears away] Kiss me.

[SEX HAPPENS]

Too simple? Unrealistic? Just give it a try. Would you?

Marriage represents God in a way. That is why when it is torn apart, or in turmoil, it hurts God so much.

Let’s stay married, and continue to enjoy the favour of God in our lives.

Our husbands are not our enemies.

Neither are our wives the second edition of ‘Evil Eve’.

Love them. Love your spouse as yourself.

Owe your spouse nothing but LOVE.

Stay Blessed. Stay LOVED UP!

I Love You.

NOTE: Having this Mindset and Truth keeps you in obedience to God. It preserves and protects your marriage, and your Christian Life with God. It keeps you spiritually minded (in life and peace), not carnally minded (in death). #GOD’s Word OVER my Feelings!